Category: Brain mets

On the third day of Christmas

On the third day of Christmas 🎄 I am sending seasonal greetings to all readers in the hope that you are enjoying a happy holiday with loved ones.

I wish also to share my good news with you. My recent brain and body scans show that the cancer, wherever it might be, is stable. Immunotherapy continues as treatment with a brain scan again in 3 months and body scan in 6 months, unless I notice that there are changes.

So watch out 2022. Here I come!  Hopefully, we’ll have Covid on the run again soon and can look forward to a pleasant spring and warm summer.

Thank you so much for prayers and good wishes. 

May you enjoy many blessings!
Pauline 

Stable Mabel again

While there is much talk in the news of long hospital waiting times because of the effects of the pandemic, I am very fortunate to say I have not been affected. Possibly because I am already in the system. 

I recently had another head MRI to check for metastasis in my brain. My 16th+ I think but I have lost count. I am so pleased to say thankfully that it was clear. Stable Mabel again!

I found it more difficult this time

I am truly grateful, but I found it more difficult this time to go and deal with the scan and to remain positive. I felt not only fatigued but emotionally low. 

Luckily my family bolster me and keep me grounded. They challenge my negativity with humour, common sense and love and turn it into positivity and hope. They find the right balance in their listening and speaking.

I am reminded in a good way that many suffer. It is a part of being human. But if we are lovingly supported, it is possible to manage the most difficult experiences.

“Do not fear”

Today while reading I came across a Bible quotation from the Old Testament: “And my spirit continues in your midst; do not fear!” Though written thousands of years ago, God speaks these same words to us today. 

Whatever we may be exhausted from, whatever we may be overwhelmed by, God is with us. God is for us. With faith we need not be afraid.

Hopefully, I will remember this in 2 months time when my next scans are due. 

Be strong and be well! 
Pauline

“My family and friends have carried me, scolded me, loved me through some difficult times”

Today is a beautiful day with blue skies and sunshine. People are busy in their gardens where spring flowers are in bloom and birds are chirruping in anticipation of warmer weather.

Three years ago this was not the case. It was cold with a snowfall deep enough to stop traffic. Some hospital staff had to walk to work because of snow blocked roads.

And three years ago I was dealt what I felt was a crushing hammer blow! After displaying some seizures I was diagnosed as having secondary breast cancer with mets in my brain, my abdomen and my bones. I was told that I would be kept as well as possible for as long as possible.

I really believed I had been given a death sentence and could not see very far into the future. My world went black. I had been in such a dark place before when my young son died in a tragic accident.

However, hope, positivity and zest for life came from my beautiful family and friends like a dam bursting. As had happened before. Once again they picked me up and supported me. Life took on some colour again. Over the last three years they have encouraged me, carried me, scolded me and loved me through some difficult times.  

They have researched the disease looking for the optimum treatments and made sure I was receiving them. They have contacted the medics responsible for my care to ensure that all relevant information about me was being considered.

I have never once felt alone even in the darkest times. I have been reminded frequently that there are many others in a far more difficult position than me, ensuring that I didn’t wallow in self pity.

I have felt carried by the many prayers offered for my well being. Recently, I had the results of another two MRI scans, one on my spine and one on my brain. The former showed wear and tear on my spine but no cancer. And the latter, evidence of lesions treated but no new ones. 

I don’t know for how much longer I will keep well, but I do know that everything possible is being done to keep me well. I am trying to live in the moment, easier sometimes than others.

My heart is filled with love and gratitude as I look forward to another spring.

Thank you.

Pauline

May you enjoy a happy Christmas

What a strange and difficult year 2020 has been for everyone the whole world over. 

It seems to take a pandemic to shake us into shape and bring all that goodness and kindness within people to the surface. There has been much love in action. But then, love is always there in abundance; we just don’t see it. I hope you are all coping with the situation and finding any support you might need.  

I haven’t posted any news since October. I felt it wasn’t appropriate in current circumstances. However, I decided to share positive news amidst all the gloom. 

In the weeks since I posted, I have had stereotactic surgery for a brain met, which was successful, two scans – an MRI on my spine and a CT of thorax, abdomen and trunk. 

I am very pleased to say both were clear of cancer. Only the initial lesions on my bones are visible so I am described as stable. I feel most fortunate.

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Thank you for your positive thoughts and prayers. May you enjoy a happy Christmas 🎄 even though you’re not with all those you had hoped. 

Let us pray for a 2021 full of hope and good health. 

Pauline

The cancer in my brain has made another appearance

The last time I wrote a blog post we as a country were coming out of lockdown. Unfortunately, as I write this we are once more going into lots of local restrictions as the virus insidiously starts to appear again.

As though mirroring the virus, the cancer in my brain has also made another appearance. My consultant today told me of a new but very small lesion on the cerebellum. It can be treated with stereotactic surgery and so I have agreed to go ahead with this once again. 

It will happen quite soon so the growth can be nipped in the bud so to speak. I know I am lucky to live where I do because of the treatment options locally, but I feel each time I have to dig a little deeper to find some energy and resolve.

I am also having an MRI scan on my spine to ensure that nothing else sinister is going on – I have had more pain of late. On the positive side the consultant thinks it will show no sign of cancer. He’s just double checking.

Once again the NHS is coming to my rescue. 

I need your prayers

As my eldest grandchild left home today to begin university, I wondered how many more times I would see him. I don’t like thinking this way. It’s morbid. I just need your prayers and the gifts of the Spirit to keep me buoyant and to remind me of how lucky I am.  

Ruth, also thinking about her son going off to university, shared a poem by Kahlil Gibran that we used as part of our son’s funeral service. She didn’t know we had used it. She was only four at the time and yet today it helped her understand a life lesson and reminded me of it.

On children

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.


You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.


You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness,
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet


“So he also loves the bow that is stable.” I need to remember this and believe it. 

Pray that we may all be grounded in and by God’s love. 

Blessings to you. 


Pauline

Cancer during coronavirus

Hello once again

In my last blog post I wrote that ‘no one is immune to suffering’ and coronavirus (Covid 19), which is now rampaging across the globe, brings this fact into stark reality.

Most of humankind is doing what they can to limit its path of destruction from China to the Americas.  At the forefront of this battle are wondrous medics and carers, many of whom have already given their lives to help the sick.

During this catastrophe, other medics are still working saving the lives of others from the diseases and illnesses we perhaps know more about. No working from home for them. In fact it’s business as usual.

Brain scan results

Yesterday I received the results of my last brain scan which were disappointing. The suspected brain met has grown from 4 to 7mm and another has been seen in another area of my brain. Both need treatment.

The good news is that I am once again deemed suitable for stereotactic surgery and I’m to expect a phone call to organise this in the near future.

Even amid the urgency present in our health care system, I am being given life saving treatment and another chance. I marvel at our NHS and am grateful for it.

Let us thank, pray for, and wish well all those who serve the sick and comfort the dying and do so with a grateful heart.

Best wishes for a happy Easter.

Pauline

You’ll never walk alone

I was reminded this morning that it was 2 years ago since I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer.

If I’m honest I did not then expect to be here 2 years on. I was full of foreboding and negative fears. In truth I had no real understanding of the disease. I’m still unaware of many aspects of it and place my trust in the professionals.

Some might say this is unwise but it’s how I cope with the situation. It isn’t that I’m burying my head in the sand. I just deal with as much as I can and carry on as normal. Yesterday I made marmalade, which didn’t set, so today I have to boil it up again!
It’s such mundane tasks that stop me speculating about what the future holds.

No one is immune from suffering

In 2 weeks I have a brain MRI scan again to check on any cancer growth. Like many others in a similar situation I get nervous 😟 as the time approaches. The rational part of me says it has to be done and just get on with it. Face whatever has to be faced.

I find thinking of others in worse situations helps, and remind myself of their courage. The recent video of the father in Syria teaching his little daughter to laugh when a bomb is dropped is just one example.

No one is immune from suffering. Some deal with it better than others. We need to remember to be there for one another when necessary.

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Xav’s 18th birthday. My first grandchild

We need to adopt Liverpool FC’s anthem. “You’ll never walk alone!” I have my family, my friends and my faith. I hope that others are as well supported.

Look out today for someone who needs a friend or listening ear. Be there for them.

Pauline

40 love and hope

6.15pm on the second Friday of Wimbledon.

The men’s singles semi finals, Nadal v Federer, is on TV which I was watching with enthusiasm.

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The phone rang and resentfully I answered. Who could be disturbing my viewing of such a fabulous match?

To my great surprise it was my wonderful oncologist still busy on a Friday night.

I did tell him that an historic match was on TV. He said he had two screens open, one showing my recent body scan results and one with the match on.

He had good news for me once again and wanted to share it so that I would have a worry free weekend.

The scans showed no change compared with the ones taken in March which were clear, or as the hospital prefer to say, stable.

So once again I am Stable Mabel. 16 months after diagnosis I am doing okay.

When I feel down about having to take medication every day which tires me, I must and will remember to be grateful that it is working.

For how long I don’t know, but since I am trying to live a day at a time, I shouldn’t let this worry me.

This way of thinking isn’t always easy, but I’ll keep trying to live in the moment. And keep watching wonderful tennis played by superb athletes!

Once again, thank you for all the prayers and positive vibes.

I am indebted to you all.

Pauline

 

Renewed hope and the Holy Spirit

“They were all filled with the Holy Spirit…”

Today is a day of celebration for Christians since it is Pentecost Sunday, the birthday of the Church.

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The earliest Christians were inspired and filled with courage and determination by the Holy Spirit. They looked to the future with hope and confidence.

News of my last MRI scan came on Thursday and filled me with renewed hope.

My oncologist phoned to tell me that all was clear in my brain. Thankfully, nothing new was visible and treated brain mets were slowly decaying.

The cancer in the body is being kept under control by medication so I do indeed have much to give thanks for.

The Holy Spirit is working through the doctors to keep me well.

As I look forward to the rest of the summer I thank all those who continue to pray for me and wish me well.

I do believe prayer 🙏 is helping me and I am grateful for it.

Thank you.

Pauline

Positive news on a beautiful day

It’s a beautiful Spring day! Yesterday was a good news day for me and my family.

A reading from the Mass stated: “do not forget the things which your own eyes have seen, nor let them slip from your memory as long as you live” – things which reflect the infinite love of God.

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For me, these came in abundance on 27 March in the form of excellent news on the job front for two of my daughters, a candle lit for me in another European cathedral by someone I have never met, and positive results from scans taken 2 weeks ago.

CT scan of thorax and abdomen show no disease seen and no changes. Just evidence of stable bony disease. MRI scan also positive but with a hint of caution about a tiny area in left temporal lobe too small to be evaluated.

Suggest another scan in 10 weeks to be safe. All treated lesions are no longer visible. Naomi describes me as: “Stable Mabel,” which is good news. Medication is working well for me.

The tiredness I can cope with. I don’t mind cutting down on the housework. Any excuse to sit and read or play word games!

I hope I’m learning something from this stage in my life. I know that I’m loved, which is a precious thing. I hope that I return this love not only in my thoughts but also in my actions. I’m most grateful for the care I’m being given by NHS staff in every role.

May Easter be a hope-filled time for us all. May we also be beacons of goodness and generosity in a world where many people live without hope or are suffering.

Our love and generosity is repaid a thousand times, often without us realising it.

Thank you all 🙏