It’s a while since I’ve written a blog post. I felt I didn’t have anything new or interesting to share, but having had both a brain and body scan recently I changed my mind.
The brain scan was my 22nd and my body scan in the teens. I’m certainly keeping radiology busy. I just found out that the results showed everything is stable. So, the medication is definitely working for which I am most grateful.
Once again I am enjoying the Spring in all its blossoming beauty – though it’s a pity it’s not a little warmer. Five years ago I was advised that the cancer was manageable but could not be eradicated.
Since then my youngest grandchild has grown from a baby to a school boy, three have moved to secondary school, one to 6th form and hopefully I can share with my oldest grandchild as he receives his degree this summer.
I didn’t always see these events as possibilities. I am truly thankful and grateful for all the prayers and good wishes from many people.
I haven’t written a blog post for a while. I didn’t feel that I had anything new to say about my situation. Life continues as normal. Like most people I follow a routine and one day, one week blends into the next.
Today however, I heard the news that a young woman – a wife, mother and presenter of the BBC podcast “You, Me and the Big C” was receiving end-of-life care since treatment for the cancer she has had for the last 6 years is no longer an option.
“All I want is more life” she said. Understandable since she has children who need her. Her situation and that of thousands of others got me thinking. All of us know that life is limited.
We are given a certain life span but we don’t know how long this is. Some make better use of their time than others. Not always my strength. Some try to pack in as much as possible. Again, not a characteristic of mine.
Even living with an incurable disease, there are many days when I cannot imagine death. I just get on with my unexciting but happy routine. This may change but I hope not since it keeps me calm and grounded.
What makes life precious
Seeing Springtime in all its glory. Watching a robin hopping in the garden. Listening to a blackbird singing on the rooftop. Chatting with grandchildren and their parents, hearing their news and making my husband smile every day even when annoyed.
All these things make life precious so that yes indeed, we do “want more life”.
I choose to believe that in death “life is changed not ended”. That we remain closely connected to those we love. I pray that my belief stays strong. Four years have passed since diagnosis and I am still learning to live in the moment and not measure myself against anyone else.
“Lord, for tomorrow and its needs I do not pray. Keep me, my God from stain of sin just for today.”
On the third day of Christmas 🎄 I am sending seasonal greetings to all readers in the hope that you are enjoying a happy holiday with loved ones.
I wish also to share my good news with you. My recent brain and body scans show that the cancer, wherever it might be, is stable. Immunotherapy continues as treatment with a brain scan again in 3 months and body scan in 6 months, unless I notice that there are changes.
So watch out 2022. Here I come! Hopefully, we’ll have Covid on the run again soon and can look forward to a pleasant spring and warm summer.
While there is much talk in the news of long hospital waiting times because of the effects of the pandemic, I am very fortunate to say I have not been affected. Possibly because I am already in the system.
I recently had another head MRI to check for metastasis in my brain. My 16th+ I think but I have lost count. I am so pleased to say thankfully that it was clear. Stable Mabel again!
I found it more difficult this time
I am truly grateful, but I found it more difficult this time to go and deal with the scan and to remain positive. I felt not only fatigued but emotionally low.
Luckily my family bolster me and keep me grounded. They challenge my negativity with humour, common sense and love and turn it into positivity and hope. They find the right balance in their listening and speaking.
I am reminded in a good way that many suffer. It is a part of being human. But if we are lovingly supported, it is possible to manage the most difficult experiences.
“Do not fear”
Today while reading I came across a Bible quotation from the Old Testament: “And my spirit continues in your midst; do not fear!” Though written thousands of years ago, God speaks these same words to us today.
Whatever we may be exhausted from, whatever we may be overwhelmed by, God is with us. God is for us. With faith we need not be afraid.
Hopefully, I will remember this in 2 months time when my next scans are due.
Today is a beautiful day with blue skies and sunshine. People are busy in their gardens where spring flowers are in bloom and birds are chirruping in anticipation of warmer weather.
Three years ago this was not the case. It was cold with a snowfall deep enough to stop traffic. Some hospital staff had to walk to work because of snow blocked roads.
And three years ago I was dealt what I felt was a crushing hammer blow! After displaying some seizures I was diagnosed as having secondary breast cancer with mets in my brain, my abdomen and my bones. I was told that I would be kept as well as possible for as long as possible.
I really believed I had been given a death sentence and could not see very far into the future. My world went black. I had been in such a dark place before when my young son died in a tragic accident.
However, hope, positivity and zest for life came from my beautiful family and friends like a dam bursting. As had happened before. Once again they picked me up and supported me. Life took on some colour again. Over the last three years they have encouraged me, carried me, scolded me and loved me through some difficult times.
They have researched the disease looking for the optimum treatments and made sure I was receiving them. They have contacted the medics responsible for my care to ensure that all relevant information about me was being considered.
I have never once felt alone even in the darkest times. I have been reminded frequently that there are many others in a far more difficult position than me, ensuring that I didn’t wallow in self pity.
I have felt carried by the many prayers offered for my well being. Recently, I had the results of another two MRI scans, one on my spine and one on my brain. The former showed wear and tear on my spine but no cancer. And the latter, evidence of lesions treated but no new ones.
I don’t know for how much longer I will keep well, but I do know that everything possible is being done to keep me well. I am trying to live in the moment, easier sometimes than others.
My heart is filled with love and gratitude as I look forward to another spring.
What a strange and difficult year 2020 has been for everyone the whole world over.
It seems to take a pandemic to shake us into shape and bring all that goodness and kindness within people to the surface. There has been much love in action. But then, love is always there in abundance; we just don’t see it. I hope you are all coping with the situation and finding any support you might need.
I haven’t posted any news since October. I felt it wasn’t appropriate in current circumstances. However, I decided to share positive news amidst all the gloom.
In the weeks since I posted, I have had stereotactic surgery for a brain met, which was successful, two scans – an MRI on my spine and a CT of thorax, abdomen and trunk.
I am very pleased to say both were clear of cancer. Only the initial lesions on my bones are visible so I am described as stable. I feel most fortunate.
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Thank you for your positive thoughts and prayers. May you enjoy a happy Christmas 🎄 even though you’re not with all those you had hoped.
Let us pray for a 2021 full of hope and good health.
I was reminded this morning that it was 2 years ago since I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer.
If I’m honest I did not then expect to be here 2 years on. I was full of foreboding and negative fears. In truth I had no real understanding of the disease. I’m still unaware of many aspects of it and place my trust in the professionals.
Some might say this is unwise but it’s how I cope with the situation. It isn’t that I’m burying my head in the sand. I just deal with as much as I can and carry on as normal. Yesterday I made marmalade, which didn’t set, so today I have to boil it up again!
It’s such mundane tasks that stop me speculating about what the future holds.
No one is immune from suffering
In 2 weeks I have a brain MRI scan again to check on any cancer growth. Like many others in a similar situation I get nervous 😟 as the time approaches. The rational part of me says it has to be done and just get on with it. Face whatever has to be faced.
I find thinking of others in worse situations helps, and remind myself of their courage. The recent video of the father in Syria teaching his little daughter to laugh when a bomb is dropped is just one example.
No one is immune from suffering. Some deal with it better than others. We need to remember to be there for one another when necessary.
Xav’s 18th birthday. My first grandchild
We need to adopt Liverpool FC’s anthem. “You’ll never walk alone!” I have my family, my friends and my faith. I hope that others are as well supported.
Look out today for someone who needs a friend or listening ear. Be there for them.
Another new year has begun, another decade unfolds and these happenings demand a thank you from me.
Before Christmas I had another brain MRI scan to make doubly sure that all was well. I was assured that whatever was there was nothing to be alarmed about and I was scheduled for a further scan in 3 months time as a normal part of my treatment plan.
So another season of celebration and thanks has come and gone. The Lord’s plan for me continues and I am trying to make each day count. The future lays hidden but that’s not a bad thing. May you all enjoy and live in each moment.
Thank you for your continued prayers and good wishes. A happy and healthy new year to you all.
At a similar time last year, I was making blackcurrant jam and I asked myself the question, ‘Will I be making this next summer?’
My sister said firmly she would save me some jars and indeed I needed them since I did manage to make some.
As we move forward into autumn, though tired, I am pleased to say I feel okay. The monthly injections and blood tests at the hospital continue. But since I am judged to be stable, I’m now attending a nurse/pharmacist-led clinic with a doctor in the wings if necessary. I do feel lucky and blessed.
I’m learning to live with cancer a little better each day. I’ve joined a Pilates class for the first time ever and am feeling parts of my body I had forgotten about because of lack of use!
I’m a professional coffee drinker at many cafes and restaurants in the area and I’m becoming addicted to technology as I investigate the myriad of games available. Ironing is very neglected!
I’ve enjoyed family events and holidays throughout the summer and realise how lucky I am. God has certainly blessed me in countless ways. I hope that having this disease has taught me more about generosity of spirit and caring for people. I’ve been shown so much love and care by my family and friends since diagnosis.
And so I say thanks to you all for your prayers as a Mass is offered for your intentions and for those whom you love. May autumn be a ‘season of mists and mellow fruitfulness’ for you.
Momma B's blog of hope 