Tag: Cancer

“My family and friends have carried me, scolded me, loved me through some difficult times”

Today is a beautiful day with blue skies and sunshine. People are busy in their gardens where spring flowers are in bloom and birds are chirruping in anticipation of warmer weather.

Three years ago this was not the case. It was cold with a snowfall deep enough to stop traffic. Some hospital staff had to walk to work because of snow blocked roads.

And three years ago I was dealt what I felt was a crushing hammer blow! After displaying some seizures I was diagnosed as having secondary breast cancer with mets in my brain, my abdomen and my bones. I was told that I would be kept as well as possible for as long as possible.

I really believed I had been given a death sentence and could not see very far into the future. My world went black. I had been in such a dark place before when my young son died in a tragic accident.

However, hope, positivity and zest for life came from my beautiful family and friends like a dam bursting. As had happened before. Once again they picked me up and supported me. Life took on some colour again. Over the last three years they have encouraged me, carried me, scolded me and loved me through some difficult times.  

They have researched the disease looking for the optimum treatments and made sure I was receiving them. They have contacted the medics responsible for my care to ensure that all relevant information about me was being considered.

I have never once felt alone even in the darkest times. I have been reminded frequently that there are many others in a far more difficult position than me, ensuring that I didn’t wallow in self pity.

I have felt carried by the many prayers offered for my well being. Recently, I had the results of another two MRI scans, one on my spine and one on my brain. The former showed wear and tear on my spine but no cancer. And the latter, evidence of lesions treated but no new ones. 

I don’t know for how much longer I will keep well, but I do know that everything possible is being done to keep me well. I am trying to live in the moment, easier sometimes than others.

My heart is filled with love and gratitude as I look forward to another spring.

Thank you.

Pauline

“Your cancer journey begins here”

“Your cancer journey begins here” were among the first words quietly spoken by a gentle A&E consultant. A thunderbolt out of the blue, totally unexpected as thousands before me can attest.

Secondary tumours are showing in three areas of my brain. I’ve decided to call them uninvited and unwelcome guests. The primary source has not yet been found since all facts gathered have yet to be correlated.

Until this has happened I must patiently wait. I agree with others who’ve said the waiting is the difficult part.

I decided to do a blog with the support of my wonderfully talented writer – daughter.  This is to keep me on track and save repetition of facts and news to anyone interested.

I am lucky, extremely so, to be surrounded by a large loving family including my soul mate husband of 50 years with whom I share five brilliant children, their spouses and seven gorgeous grandchildren plus siblings and their families. More introductions of my family in the future since they will all play a role in my management of this illness.

I think about the poem Invictus and the line: “I am the captain of my soul…” How can I complain about today’s news?  But, human nature being what it is, I am sure I will do as the ‘journey’ continues.

invictus

I am a person of faith, who follows the Catholic Christian tradition, and I’m a great believer in the power of prayer as a healer and calmer.

So if you are my family or friend, please pray for me. Join Pauline’s Prayer Posse and offer prayers not just for me but for all those I meet on my journey, whether they be other patients or health professionals working their socks off for us all.

Pauline
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