My amazing mother

To blog or not to blog – that is the question. I began the blog to occupy me, to put my thoughts down to try and clear my thinking, but I feel I’m going into overdrive. I’m trying to understand this disease – I know its cellular multiplication and migration to other organs, some renegades on a riot.

My problem is there have been no signs unless the back pain wasn’t arthritis, but x-rays showed wear and tear and damaged joints. It’s all crept up on me and that’s why I’m reeling.

I’m hoping that the team meeting this week to assess my records will be bright eyed and bushy tailed and approach the meeting with clinical wisdom, experience and interest.

I do not want anyone to look at them and not see me – a passionate, intelligent 74 year old woman with some living still to do. My job, my purpose, is to make my husband and family smile every day. I still have a role to play in this great world of ours. There are still people out there I can help and support.

Today is the day to write down some questions for the oncologist. Please dear Lord, inspire this medic I have yet to meet with positive answers. Give me the guts to ask some useful if difficult questions.

As Mothering Sunday comes to an end I must pay tribute to my amazing mother who, in her latter years, faced so many challenges with extraordinary courage and prevailed many times. Dogged, determined, supportive of all her six children: funny, clever, generous to a fault. I temporarily forgot that she is still supporting all of us, she is still with us every step of the way. I must take courage from her. Thank you Mum.

Pauline

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