Even more snow. Beautiful though it can look I’m already feeling overwhelmed at the moment, as though I’m slowly sinking and am about to suffocate.
Positivity has deserted me and depression is settling in. I am intelligent enough to know it could be new meds with side effects but knowing that isn’t helpful. I just want it all to go away. I want someone to take any decisions away from me. I can’t handle the truth at the moment.
Feeling physically well and being told you have an incurable illness just don’t jigsaw together. My mind is going way ahead of me at the moment. I am not living in the now. I have neglected prayer and meditation these last few days which could have made a difference.
“Lord for tomorrow and its needs I do not pray. Keep me from depression Lord, just for today.”
Momma B's blog of hope 
Sometimes words are meaningless and there is nothing anyone can say to help. Just know we’re all here for you Mum. Sorry I can’t get over to see you today. I’m sick of this weather too. I have a new book for you which I’ll get to you in the next few days x
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The weather is getting us all down isn’t it?!!! … fear not your lack of prayer these last few days Pauline, myself & the boys donned wellies & walked it to mass this morning…. we got plenty of prayers in for you & a work out at the same time! Stay strong… we put in plenty of good words for you.
Sending all our love
Rachel & the boys xxx😘💚
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Like Rach said sometimes there are no words. You won’t sink- we are your buoyancy aids. Love you Momma 😘💚 xxx
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Pauline you are not sinking, just reacting to an overwhelming feeling of uncertainty. Things will get better when investigations are completed and proactive treatment is underway I feel sure. If you can’t pray too easily, don’t worry we are on it for you. Try to breath deeply and relax.
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Hi Pauline have just got onto your blog thinking and praying for you and all your lovely family try and stay strong see you soon God bless x Mon xx
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Mrs B and family, sending you my love and thoughts. Difficult days ahead for you all but love and support of your amazing family will hopefully shine a light on even the darkest of days. A cherish smile from one of your beautiful grandchildren will also help I’m sure. I in the past eighteen months have learnt that none of us can or should think about much more than this day/week, as nothing is certain for any of us, difficult yes but important. Spend every moment with those who mean the most. I can’t begin to understand what you are going though, but you are an amazing lady who’s taught so many of us, and are held in such high regard to many, that said you are allowed to feel down, depressed and angry…I’m inspired by your honest words and I hope that you soon have a ‘plan of action’ to fight this horrible disease, feel brighter and fitter and make the most of that pension pot that you truely deserve!Sending you and your family love and encouragement. All my love Rebecca Clark (Austwick) xxxxx
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Don’t beat yourself up about having down days. I’ve had many of those as you know and have always managed to pick myself up and so will you especially as you have so many people who love you and are rooting for you and supporting you and remember the ‘footprints on the sand’ prayer. When you gave me that in my ‘dark days’ it most certainly gave me strength. Love you beautiful mum.xx
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