It all seems so surreal

It all seems so surreal. I’ve been sitting chatting all day to family who’ve called to see me and found me feeling really well. Though now a little tired with a few tingles through my scalp I can’t believe the diagnosis is real.

The steroids are really having an effect. My arthritis is no longer painful and I can readily turn over in bed and go up and down stairs smoothly.  So some good news!

Sleeping through is a little problematic at the moment. Lying in bed wondering does me no good, so some nocturnal iPad sessions. Perhaps I’ll be Queen of Solitaire eventually and know all the twists and turns of the many soaps I might view!

Waking in the morning very much reminds me of the effects of bereavement. When Nicholas, my son, died suddenly I had the same difficulty with sleeping. No iPad then but, having managed a few hours sleep, I would slowly wake in the morning and for a few refreshing seconds, I believed all was well, ‘back to normal’ so to speak.

Of course this normality didn’t stay. It comes and goes just as it’s doing now.

I learned to deal with one unspeakable tragedy, and with the help of my precious family, I will learn to deal now with this event, which cannot be as bad.

Pray with me and for all those who suffer alone. I am not alone! Many loved ones go before me. Pray for the newly born, fighting to live, and their terrified parents, waiting helplessly and fearfully.

Creator God, care for us.  Spirit of God, renew us.

Pauline
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